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wiredbulletsClaireOneTwoX

Whole day at home sure kills me... jus let me 胡思乱想 again lo...
haiz...
so sian...

tot abt so many things....
but everything is alady the past le..
i noe.. and many ppl told me this oso.. that i sld look fwd, dun look back le... but i jus cant help it...
the memories jus comes back automatically...

so many things happened these few yrs... things that sldnt have happened in the 1st place....
if that incident hadnt happened that time.... i tink my life will be completely different now...
blame it all on my stupidity, ignorance, naiveness, "冲动"ness....
ya... being too soft hearted is a disadvantage too...
haiz...
年少无知不懂事....

But all these incidents 让我看见人性的丑陋... 人性的自私...
Ya.. I noe i v slow... but i onli got to see the real uglyness in human beings after the incidents have taken place...

hahaha... dunno whether i mentioned this b4 anot..
but i used to tink there are no 坏人 in this world.. not even one...
cos i believe.. no matter how bad the person is... he will have smth good in him de mah.. and tat makes him a 好人 lo... and thus everyone is a 好人 lo... hahahaha...
haha... sounds stupid hor...
我把人类想得太完美了....

den after alot alot things that happened to me... i find that human beings are all selfish... including me....
they do things to their own benefits... they 利用 ppl to satisfy their own needs.. and forgot to tink abt how ppl feel...
haiz.. i feel so sad upon writing this... feel like crying.... wahahaha...

seriously, i regret doing alot of things... regret noeing some ppl... regret being so nice to ppl when i sldnt... regret giving in.... regret being so naive all the time...
anyway regretting is no use.. cos wat done is alady done... and life is full of regrets..
no point crying over spilt milk...
its jus a 过程 of growing up... jus treat it that i have wasted these 4 years...
明彦, 重新再来吧..!!

but 最爱的人还是伤我最深.... How How How????
Left a v deep scar in me.... wat were u tinking when i was put on the table? and wat was i tinking? i cant rem either..
y did he always come back and stab me....

i'm still stupid now... still v naive...
i can onli say i've not grown up much these few yrs...
oh, im so contradicting...

Haiz... anyway... this is onli a brief summary of wat i was tinking today...
hahaha...BRIEF....
i tot abt so many things... so many things in detail....
oh ya.. and working life sucks..!!
heng im studying now..